I've thoroughly enjoyed a particular class.

Philosophy.

I've learned a lot and often contemplate about things I usually don't. Recently, I've thought this: If I should die, would I die happily, being contented with my life?

The truth is, yes. I feel that I've experienced the things I've lived my life for, and if I had died, anything I would've missed would not phase my feelings in dying happily.

Am I a fulfilled person? I've read Descartes, Locke, Kant... we finished with Sartre, which is, as you can imagine, my professor's sadistic, humorous agenda. Loving, caring, family...intellectual close friend...falling in love and being loved back.. I'm not even halfway through my life yet...still, I feel content.

What will always stick with me is John Mill's thoughts on ethics, especially on what it means to be human. He first explains the difference between animal happiness and human happiness; animal happiness is limited to sensational feelings such as eating.. sleeping.. caring for young, etc. Human happiness includes sensational happiness of the five senses, but also feelings of selfishness, monogomous love, contemplation, etc.. Human happiness has a larger gauge of emotions yet to be explored and that is what all humans should strive for. We are a species that have this luxury of self-awareness, therefore, we should also take the opportunity to attain a happiness no other species can.

This contentment I feel at the moment is probably because I feel that I've experienced all these emotions that I wanted to... I'm not going to suicide of course; I maintain that dignity to myself. But is there anything after these emotions... after you finish your education.. get your career.. get married and have a family.. grow old.. life seems so long.. so pointless in the end, as Sartre would suggest. I'm sure everyone has thoughts of this and are at a loss..

However, we have to remember that this is the order that North American society approves and they make it seem like it's the only choice to live. People are so concerned to become accepted in society that they forget to live their life... to search for truth. We are beings that have the faculty of reason yet most of us fail to use this and become hedonists instead...we remain as animals, too apathetic to explore the depths of our emotions.

Not all of us are like this. But I fear more of us are becoming like this. As long as we become less judgemental, less restrictive of other people, more of us can live life the way we want to. No more pressure from society to gain the best job, make the most money... society has become incredibly materialistic. Where are the great breakthroughs that we need so badly now?